9 Signs You’re in Survival Mode (and How to Start Feeling Like Yourself Again)

Feeling stuck in survival mode? Learn 9 key signs of burnout and simple, actionable steps to break free—so you can start feeling like yourself again.

Some days, you’re running on empty, barely keeping it together—and yet the world has the audacity to act like you should just “snap out of it.”

That’s survival mode. Not just exhaustion—something deeper and heavier.

I remember when my kids were all small and the mere act of getting up in the morning was rough on me.

It felt like I had a rock on my chest at all times. Like I was carrying the weight of the world before I even got out of bed.

Times were hard af.

Survival mode isn’t just everyday mom stress. It’s waking up already exhausted, facing the same emotional and mental burnout day after day.

Even the smallest tasks feel impossible. You’re constantly running on fumes, so of course everything feels overwhelming.

But here’s the truth of the matter that we all need to hear—you’re not broken, failing, or alone. It’s not a personal flaw that makes you “worse” than everyone else.

It’s simply a response to carrying way too much for way too long.

The fact that you’re here, reading this, already means something.

Take a deep breath. No, seriously—right now. Let yourself exhale. We’ll work through this together, one small step at a time.

First, let’s dive a little deeper into what survival mode actually is.

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What is Survival Mode?

Survival mode at its core isn’t just about stress (despite what others think). It’s a crippling feeling when everything feels like way too much, every moment you’re awake.

It’s like your brain and body are screaming at you to stop, but life just keeps on lifin’.

It’s not just being tired—that would be easy to fix.

It’s about feeling on edge and desperately trying to make it through each day.

Even basic things—like answering a text or making dinner—feel exhausting. And the worst part? You don’t know how to make it stop.

If you’re sitting here nodding your head in solidarity, I see you. You’re not alone, nor broken.

Survival mode is a really hard place to be in. Staying there too long makes everything feel incredibly impossible. (Ask me how I know!)

But the next question you might have is WHY we get stuck there in the first place.

Why Do Moms Get Stuck in Survival Mode?

I think a lot of us already know the answer to this, tbh. We don’t really get breaks as the default parent.

We’re here for every meltdown, every mess to clean up, and every midnight wake up over monsters.

But yet people tell us to just take care of ourselves? Ugh. If only it was that easy.

That’s. Not. Reality.

We get stuck here when too much piles on top of us for too long and our brains are just DONE. And if you’re trying to recover from a rough childhood too? That’s icing on the cake. (Or mud I guess, idk.)

💖 The best results come from small shifts that actually work inside the messy parts—not in some imaginary perfect world.

The good news? You don’t need a massive life overhaul to fix it.

The bad news? It takes time. The best results come from small shifts that actually work inside the mess, not in some imaginary perfect world.

But YOU CAN make it through. I promise. (I’m living proof of that.) And if I can do it? So can you.

But how do you REALLY know that’s the problem? How do you tell the difference between normal stress and full-blown survival mode?

How Do You Know If You’re in Survival Mode?

If you’re barely making it through the day, constantly overwhelmed, and have no clue how to get back to ‘normal’… yeah, you’re probably in it.

And if you’re an overthinker like me? You’re about to sit here and gaslight yourself. Please don’t do that to yourself.

Ask yourself this:

💭 Have you been running on fumes for as long as you can remember?
💭 Do simple things feel ten times harder than they probably should?
💭 Is life about getting through the day rather than actually enjoying it?

If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone. I get it.

Let’s break it down. Because if you’re in survival mode, you need to know exactly what that looks like—and how to get out.

9 Signs You’re in Survival Mode

Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs there is. But doing it in survival mode? Brutal.

It’s like someone siphoned all your energy straight out of your body—mentally, emotionally, physically.

And despite what you might think… being a mom isn’t supposed to feel this way.

If you’re wondering whether you’re stuck in survival mode, these nine signs will help you know for sure.

I’m sending you a big hug, because I know how hard this is.

You’re Always Soooooo Exhausted

You could sleep nine hours, sneak in a two-hour nap, and STILL wake up feeling like you never even closed your eyes.

You regularly wish you could put coffee in an IV straight to your veins (thanks, Gilmore Girls, for the words I live by).

That’s not just being tired, mama. That’s next-level exhaustion.

I remember regularly falling asleep on the couch right after waking up when my kids were little. (Luckily, they didn’t let me stay that way for long.)

But ughhhhh—I was barely functioning. And no matter how much I slept, it just. kept. happening.

When your body is stuck in survival mode, the stress of it makes true rest impossible to reach. Your brain never fully powers down. Your body never fully relaxes.

So, of course, you feel like you’re running on fumes no matter what you do.

It’s not just you. Your body isn’t failing you—it’s fighting for you. It’s waving a giant red flag, screaming for relief. And it needs it—pronto.

Simple Tasks Feel Overwhelming

Even if you manage to drag yourself through the exhaustion, the simplest tasks still feel impossible.

The dishes pile up, the kids have cereal for dinner yet again, and you just CAN’T get yourself to do anything about it because it feels like climbing Mount Everest eighty times a day.

Instead of handling things, you just keep putting them off until suddenly everything is on fire and you’re spiraling into panic mode.

You’re not lazy. You’re exhausted beyond belief.

The mental load of figuring out your next step feels heavier than the thing you need to do.

😩 Survival mode traps you in a constant cycle of avoidance and stress. Even the basics feel like too much to do.

I get it.

I’ll admit, I still struggle with this (shoutout to ADHD), but when my kids were little? Forget it. I physically could not get up off the couch.

Bless my husband for all the slack he’s picked up over the years as I’ve climbed my way out of it.

You’re Neglecting Basic Self-Care

In theory, taking care of ourselves should be common sense. In reality? It’s the first thing to go.

Your own needs fall to the bottom of the list. Suddenly, you’re skipping meals, forgetting when you last showered, and rocking the same leggings for the third day in a row—because who has time to bother with doing LAUNDRY?!

You know you should take better care of yourself… but when just keeping your kids alive feels like a full-time crisis? Taking care of yourself barely even makes the list.

The irony? Neglecting yourself keeps you stuck in survival mode. The more you run on empty, the harder everything feels.

But here’s the thing…taking care of yourself isn’t just another chore. It’s one of the most powerful ways to break out of survival mode, little by little.

When I catch myself spiraling, this is always the first thing I check. And without fail, it’s the first thing that makes a huge difference.

When was the last time you…

✅ Ate a full meal?
✅ Drank enough water?
✅ Took five deep breaths?
✅ Stepped outside for fresh air?
✅ Moved your body in any way?
✅ Did one thing just for you?

You Feel Emotionally Numb or Disconnected

Survival mode doesn’t just drain your energy—it drains your emotions, too.

Playing with your kids? Just another task to check off the list.

Date night with your partner? Feels like just another thing you’re supposed to do.

That hobby you used to love? You’d rather rot on the couch.

It’s not that you don’t want to spend time with those you love… you just can’t bring yourself to WANT TO.

Your brain is stuck in survival mode, just trying to make it through the day.

It’s like you’re floating outside your body, watching everything happen without actually feeling any of it.

Survival mode is zapping away the bandwidth you need to be present.

(And yeah, I know—it sounds like depression. But survival mode has its own special brand of numb.)

You’re Just Surviving the Day, Not Planning for the Future

When was the last time you thought beyond today? And I don’t just mean thinking about what’s for dinner next week. I mean what you actually want out of life.

In survival mode, the future feels like a foreign concept.

Your only “plan” is to tackle whatever problem is screaming the loudest.

Anything beyond the next 24 hours? Too overwhelming to even think about.

Setting goals? Dreaming big? Nope.

Even basic plans—like meal prepping or scheduling a playdate—can feel like too much.

⚠️ The problem? When you’re focused on just getting through today, tomorrow never gets better. You don’t even have the energy to think about fixing it.

Brain Fog is Out of Control

Can’t remember where you put your phone… or why you even walked into the kitchen? Ahhh, brain fog. I’m good friends with her. (She also likes to hang out when you’re pregnant or have ADHD, so… love that for us.)

Your mind feels like a browser with 50 tabs open—but none of them are loading.

Simple things slip through the cracks because stress has hijacked your mental bandwidth.

Even if you’re usually on top of things, survival mode turns you into someone who:

📌 Misses appointments
📌 Forgets to sign your kid’s field trip form
📌 Stares blankly at the laundry, wondering if you ever actually started it

The good news? It’s not just you. It’s your brain trying to conserve what little energy it has.

The rest? Yeah… it’s getting lost in the sauce.

You Snap Over Small Things

This one is hard to accept. One second, you’re fine. The next, you’re rage-cleaning the kitchen while everyone stays out of your way—because there were too many cups on the counter.

Survival mode makes your patience paper-thin. The smallest inconvenience—something you’d normally shrug off—feels like a personal betrayal.

A spilled drink. A whining toddler. The WiFi cutting out. Any of it can be the thing that sends you over the edge that day.

I had a lot of these moments when my kids were little. (Let’s be real—I still do sometimes.)

I’d lose my mind over:

• A dish left in the sink
• Shoes in the middle of the floor
• A kid losing it because we ran out of their favorite cereal

Normal stuff. But in survival mode? It felt like too much.

Here’s what I’ve learned: this isn’t just “having a short fuse.” It’s a sign your nervous system has HAD ENOUGH. Your body is stuck reacting instead of responding.

You Can’t Sleep (Even Though You’re Exhausted)

The unfortunate truth? You’re way past tired. You can feel your bones ache, but the second your head hits the pillow, your brain decides it’s time for a greatest hits replay of:

⚡ “Did I say something weird in that text today?”
⚡ “I should’ve handled that meltdown better.”
⚡ “Wait… do we have milk for tomorrow?”
⚡ “Why did I do that embarrassing thing in 7th grade?”
⚡ “I should get up and make a to-do list.”
⚡ “I’m so exhausted. Why am I still awake?”

You’re wired but exhausted—stuck in a cycle of being too tired to function, but too restless to actually sleep.

You randomly wake up at 3 AM, panicked about something (tomorrow’s to-do list? That text you forgot to answer? If your partner secretly hates you?).

And even when you do sleep, it’s not restful. You wake up drained af.

I can’t tell you how many nights I’d wake up mid-panic spiral, convinced my husband was mad at me for who even knows what. We might joke about it, but let’s be real—that’s not normal or healthy.

Survival mode keeps your nervous system on high alert. Your brain stays wired, like it’s bracing for the next emergency. It’s waiting for a lion to eat you or something.

Which isn’t super helpful when the real threat is a toddler waking you up for a sip of water.

The worst part? Lack of sleep makes everything worse.

It fuels the brain fog. The exhaustion. The emotional rollercoaster. It makes everything harder to fix. (Harder, not impossible!)

You Feel Stuck and Hopeless

This is the hardest part of survival mode—the deep, sinking feeling that things will always be this way.

No matter what you do, the weight never lifts. Nothing ever feels easier.

You’re so drained that even thinking about fixing things feels impossible. So you stop trying. You accept that this is just life now.

Maybe you’ve even tried making changes before—only to end up right back where you started. Now, you’re too scared to hope for better, because what if it never happens?

✨ This isn’t forever. You’re not broken, and you’re not failing.

And you don’t have to stay stuck.

Let’s talk about the small, manageable steps that will help you climb out—one at a time.

How to Start Climbing Out of Survival Mode (Without Adding More Overwhelm)

I know the idea of fixing anything might feel impossible right now.

You can barely handle the dishes—so cleaning the whole house? Yeah, that’s a hard no.

Take a breath, mama. You don’t need to do everything at once. Actually, please don’t try to do everything at once. That’s how we end up right back where we started.

You just need to do something. Baby steps.

You’re not going to go from survival mode to supermom overnight. And you don’t need to. The goal isn’t to be perfect—it’s to feel better.

So instead of an overwhelming life overhaul, let’s focus on the tiniest shifts. The ones that help you feel even a little more in control.

If you’re not sure where to start, I’ve got some ideas below that have personally helped me in the past.

Let’s dig into those now.

Meet Your Basic Needs (Even If It Feels Impossible)

Survival mode makes taking care of yourself really hard. We’ve already talked about how basic things—eating an actual meal, drinking water, showering, moving your body—get neglected.

And not in a “haha, I forgot to drink water today” kind of way. I mean in a real, draining, life-is-too-much kind of way.

So forget the trendy self-care tips. You don’t need bubble baths or a 10-step skincare routine. Right now, we’re focusing on the bare minimum to keep you functioning.

Here’s what I want you to do:

💦 Drink some water. Fill up a cup and drink. (Like, right now—I’ll wait.) I personally fill up a massive cup and chug a few times a day because that’s easiest for me. But do whatever works for you.

🍎 Eat something nourishing. As much as we wish it was, iced coffee isn’t a meal. Grab an apple, some cheese, or literally anything that fuels your body. And no, your toddler’s half-eaten waffle from breakfast doesn’t count.

👟 Move your body in whatever way feels doable. I’m not talking workouts—no one has the energy for that right now. Just something. Dance in the kitchen with the kids. Walk to the mailbox.

Some days, it’s 5 PM before I realize I haven’t eaten, showered, or stepped outside for fresh air in four days. Meanwhile, the kids? They’ve had at least 46 snacks and basically ran a full 5K.

Let’s not do that, okay?

These aren’t luxury habits. These are bare-minimum survival habits. You can do that, right?

Think of it like charging your phone just enough to make an emergency call.

It’s not a full recharge, but it’s enough to keep you going—and right now, that is what matters.

Find One Small Win Per Day

When you’re elbows deep in survival mode, everything feels HUGE. And somehow, you’re failing at all of it.

That to-do list? It’s not just a mile long—it’s basically stretching halfway to Africa at this point.

And it keeps. on. getting. longer.

But we’re going to ignore that for now, okay?

Instead, I want you to focus on the small wins in your day.

They’re not meaningless or silly. They’re proof that you’re moving forward, even if it’s one tiny step at a time.

A win can be as simple as:

• Rinsing one dish so you can make breakfast.
• Brushing your hair (listen, I literally have to pep talk myself into this one… so IYKYK)
• Changing into clean clothes for the first time this week (even if it’s just yoga pants)

It might feel silly at first, but momentum starts here.

When I’m really stuck, just eating a meal makes me feel loads better. And I celebrate that. “I actually ate breakfast today! Look at me!!”

☺️ Each tiny shift pulls you a little closer to feeling like yourself again.

So keep celebrating the small stuff.

Create “Bare Minimum” Routines

I spent YEARS trying and failing at the perfect color-coded schedules and forcing myself up at 5 AM. That stuff? Needs to be chucked out the window.

You don’t need a perfect schedule. You just need things to feel a little less chaotic.And structure can feel like A LOT when you’re stuck in survival mode.

And structure can feel like A LOT when you’re stuck in survival mode.

Enter: bare minimum routines. The stuff you land on when you’re struggling the most.

Not to be more productive. Not to be a better mom. Just to make life feel a little easier.

A few ideas to start with:

🗓️Five-minute resets – Pick up a few things, wipe up the jelly from lunch, and prep your coffee for the morning. That’s it.

🗓️ Closing duties – Coined by KC Davis (follow her if you don’t already), it’s the act of prepping the bare minimum for the next morning so you don’t wake up to chaos. Fill your toddler’s milk cup, wash a few dishes for breakfast, lay out clothes if needed. ONLY the true essentials.

🗓️ The “one thing” rule – If cleaning feels overwhelming, just do one thing. Wipe the counter. Throw trash in a bag. Start the washer. Then stop. One thing is better than nothing.

🗓️ Morning “bare minimums” – Skip the fancy morning routine. Just drink water, brush your teeth, put some clothes on, and whatever you deem as your bare minimum.

🗓️ The “no-thought” meal – Have one meal you can throw together with zero effort when cooking feels impossible (for me, it’s frozen burritos and bagels for breakfast).

🗓️ Tiny habit stacking – Brew your favorite tea while making the kids’ breakfast. Wash your face while the shower heats up. Pair things together so they feel effortless.

These aren’t productivity hacks. They’re life rafts.

You’re not trying to be the mom who has it all together. You’re just trying to make it to bedtime with a little less stress. And right now that’s more than enough.

Find Support in Ways That Work for You

Not all of us have huge support systems to lean on. I sure didn’t. For a long time, I was figuring things out mostly alone.

And support? It doesn’t have to mean hiring a housekeeper or having a therapist on speed dial (though if you have those, amazing).

🫂 Sometimes support looks different—and that’s okay.

Here are some ways to lighten your load without making it feel like one more thing to manage:

• Outsource the mental load – Grocery delivery, curbside pickup, or pre-planned meal kits can be lifesavers. You don’t have to do it all yourself.
• Trade favors with a friend – Swap babysitting, pick up each other’s groceries, or just have an accountability check-in to help each other out.
• Lower the bar – Not every battle needs to be fought. Some days, survival means saying screw it to the laundry pile and choosing rest instead.
• Prioritize “done” over perfect – Store-bought cupcakes for the school event? Yes. Letting the kids watch TV so you can sit in silence for 10 minutes? Also yes.
• Use digital apps – Auto-pay your bills. Set reminders for everything. Let an app handle your meal planning. If tech can help, let it.

The key here? Support shouldn’t feel like one more thing to manage. It should take things off your plate, not add more pressure to it.

Reclaim 10 Minutes Just for You

If your first thought is, “I don’t have time!”—I get it.

But also: even 10 minutes of time for yourself can make a difference.

And no, I don’t mean self-care in the “candles, spa days, and self-reflection in a meadow” kind of way. I mean tiny moments that remind you that you’re still a person.

Some days, these 10 minutes are the only thing keeping me from going full Momzilla when the witching hour hits. (You know, that magical time when your kids act like you’ve never fed them in their entire lives?)

A few ideas to try:

☁️ Sit in silence—No music, no phone, no anything. Just breathe.
☁️ Watch a funny video—Something that actually makes you laugh.
☁️ Write down one thing about your day—No journaling, just brain dump.
☁️ Read a few pages of a book—Even if it takes you six months to finish it.
☁️ Listen to your favorite song while making breakfast—Dancing optional.
☁️ Doodle in a notebook while your kid colors—No pressure, just fun.
☁️ Bake something just for you—Not for the or your partner. For YOU.

Taking 10 minutes for yourself doesn’t mean you’re neglecting anyone. Actually, it makes you a better mom, because you’re prioritizing your own sanity.

And if you “train” your kids that everyone gets alone time sometimes? It gets easier as they get older. They just expect it. No big deal.

Let go of the guilt, take a breath, and remind yourself you matter, too.

Next Steps

Take a deep breath.

No, seriously—right now. Inhale, hold it for a second, and exhale.

Just recognizing that you’re in survival mode is already a step forward. You don’t have to fix everything at once.

Just focus on one small win today—whether that’s drinking a full glass of water, putting on clean socks, clearing off a single counter, or just connecting with your kids.

Everything that brought me where I am today started with tiny steps building over time. But every time I tried to make big changes? I failed—because I didn’t have the bandwidth.

Small steps build. Large leaps collapse.

You are more than your exhaustion. Survival mode isn’t your forever.

When you’re ready, take another small step.

You’ve got this, mama—one baby step at a time.

And if today all you do is survive? That’s okay too. You’re doing better than you think.

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